You spend a lot of time listening. You’ll have listened to your partner and kids before work, perhaps popped on a podcast on your commute, listened in various meetings throughout the day. The question is, how much of that listening is active? What’s the difference between that and ‘just’ listening?
Active listening takes your skills further. It shifts your experience from vaguely taking in what you’re being told, to actively seeking to understand what’s being said. It’s a two-way interaction where you ask better questions and become really clear on the core message, rather than switching off and replying with something potentially insincere or misleading.
Using active listening in meetings, you can help reduce conflict and resolve issues. It’s alsoone of those skills which, once you master it, doesn’t just help you in the workplace, but in all aspects of your life. Developing these skills also help you interpret written information. And, perhaps more importantly, help you to consider nuance and identify any messages which aren’t being explicitly shared.
Listening versus Active Listening
Take a moment and think about the last long conversation you were in. How much did you really pay attention to. The first five minutes? Maybe the twenty minute discussion about your department projects (although, you blanked half of that when the CFO took over).
Were you discretely checking your emails at the same time? Perhaps holding a separate whispered chat? Carrying on with other tasks during a remote meeting while you kept your camera off? It’s natural. When you get bored you switch off.
Making a change and becoming an active listener, however, can have a profound impact onyour effectiveness. You’re no longer just hearing the words. Instead, you’re trying tounderstand the whole message.
It’s also worth remembering how annoyed you’ve felt in the past when others apparently haven’t been properly listening to you. How disrespectful did that feel? Active listening is a great way to challenge yourself to ensure you don’t make colleagues feel the same way.
5 steps to active listening
It seems obvious, but you can’t actively listen while you’re on your phone, thinking about what else you need to achieve that day, or staring out the window. It requires you to be present and engaged in the conversation. Use these five simple steps to help improve your skills:
1. Pay Full Attention: The person you’re speaking to is the only one who matters. In meetings, as each person contributes something new, give them your full focus. Put distractions aside, make eye contact (if that’s appropriate), and give them your undivided attention.
2. Reflect and summarise: Check your understanding. Think about what the speaker has said and summarise it to make sure the message you’re receiving is accurate.
3. Identify and acknowledge emotions: This is one of the key differences between normal and active listening. Emotional cues help you understand the full message. You can nod to acknowledge their feelings and use phrases like “I can understand why you’d feel annoyed by that”.
4. Ask Questions: People hear ‘listening’ and they assume it means sitting silently. Active listening requires you to get involved. You want to ensure you understand the whole message, so ask relevant questions (without interrupting) and show the speaker you’re interested in what they have to say.
5. Provide Feedback: Stay on topic. One of the most frustrating things in meetings is when someone offers an opinion which has nothing to do with what’s being discussed. It shows you aren’t paying attention. With active listening, your comments match the conversation.
How active listening reduces workplace conflict
Many grievances and work complaints are the result of miscommunication. While active listening won’t necessarily stop them happening, it can help build better relationships and a stronger understanding of the issues, so you can address them quicker.
Applying active listening when you speak with your employees helps them feel heard. Not only are you engaged in the conversation, you’re also checking you understand them. That way you can identify any concerns early on and know what to do next. It means you can give them answers, provide updates, or offer support as needed. As a result, your employees develop greater trust in you and they become motivated and engaged, reducing issues of conflict.
Active listening also helps you to make better decisions. When you’re actively involved in the conversation, you become more aware of your emotions and perceptions. You can recognise other people’s perspectives, which helps identify the root cause of a dispute. Once you’re clear on the issue, you can use that information to make an informed decision about next steps, rather than just going with a gut reaction.
Practising active listening
It’s unlikely you’ll be able to master active listening in a day. It takes regular practice and commitment. There are some simple steps to getting started though:
• Minimise distractions: If it’s an emergency, someone will come looking for you. In the meantime, switch your phone off, close your laptop (or better, leave it in another room) and give the other person your complete attention.
• Be patient: With yourself and others. Give the other person time to speak. Don’t interrupt them and allow them periods of silence if they need it. It gives you a chance to reflect as well as them.
• Summarise the situation: Reflect back what you’ve heard and make sure you’re understanding it correctly. Far easier to clarify anything that isn’t quite right now than let it fester for a few weeks.
You can also practice giving thoughtful feedback, listening with empathy and assessing body language and other non-verbal cues to make sure you understand the whole message. Be specific if you need to ask questions and seek clarity on anything that hasn’t been covered.
Applying active listening today
It’s easy to think “I’ll start doing that tomorrow”. Instead, start practising today. Active listening is a great skill for all aspects of your life, so whatever your next conversation, put your phone down, make eye contact, and really listen. Then do it again the next time, and the next, and so on.
Not sure whether active listening will resolve an issue you’re facing at work? Call the HR Detective hotline on 01278 802329 or email debbie@thehrdetective.co.uk for advice on next steps.
