A big part of workplace conflict is acknowledging your influence. The environment you create, the way you communicate, and the emotions you display, all contribute to how likely conflict is to occur and how it might feel for those involved.
It’s time to explore the impact your behaviours and emotions can have on resolving workplace conflict.
Reflecting on your previous experience
Think about the last conflict situation you were in, small or large:
- What was the issue?
- Who was involved?
- What was your immediate reaction?
The answers here will vary with each new conflict, so let’s take the case of a deadline debate as an example.
The issue was agreeing dates for key aspects of the project to be delivered. It’s likely two or more people were involved, and your immediate reaction was ‘They’re adults. They can sort this out themselves’.
Now think about the emotions you could see. Was everyone calm, or were some people frustrated? Why was that the case?
Where team members get on reasonably well and communicate effectively, there’s a good chance it was a quick conversation. People stayed calm, explained any challenges they anticipated, and reached agreement on an acceptable deadline for all parties.
Yet what if they don’t get on?
The potential for escalating workplace conflict
If a relationship isn’t great, Person A might try to catch out Person B, and get them to commit to a deadline they can’t possibly achieve. That way, Person A has someone to blame if it goes wrong. Person B doesn’t realise what Person A’s doing but they had a terrible night’s sleep so they’re short on patience and aren’t up for playing games.
What happens now? It’s a different scenario, isn’t it?
As Person C in this situation, how you choose to manage it will make a real difference. Where people don’t get on, what do you do to address that? Do you work on it with them to improve their communication or do you prefer to stay out of it and hope things will improve on their own?
Using the deadline example, some managers will choose to step in and set the deadline for them. Others will leave them to squabble. Neither of these any perfect answers, and either option could result in you being perceived as unfairly taking sides or not supporting either of them.
The good news is there are ways to take a breath, manage conflict more effectively, and reduce the risk of you adding to it.
Five steps to reducing workplace conflict
Whether you do something or do nothing, your response will almost certainly have an impact. It’s important to consider how you might be influencing or contributing to a situation and what you might need to differently to facilitate positive change.
Conflict is often inevitable. Improving communication, however, can be the key to healthy conflict between colleagues who, in the main at least, are able to express themselves and reconcile different views.
Here’s how you do it.
1) Encourage different perspectives
Employees need to know it’s ok to disagree. The key is to be respectful as you work through options and look for ways to achieve your common goal. They learn that from you. If you’re dismissive of someone else’s opinion, your team will start to be too. It makes them blinkered to the opportunities which come from a different perception of the world.
2) Be courageous with conflict
It isn’t always easy to disagree with someone, and it’s even harder to do it in a calm and collected manner. Some situations will make you uncomfortable and make you feel you want to shout or shrink away. Have the courage to face your emotions and deal with that conflict. Take a deep breath, or a break if you need to, and boldly have the conversationthat’s needed in an objective and respectful way. It encourages your team to do the same with you, and to know they won’t be chastised for raising concerns.
3) Deal with the issue
The longer you leave something, the more it’s likely to fester. A lack of response, or a delay in speaking to someone often makes it worse not better. Take the example of a grievance outcome that gets delayed, or a long-term absentee who isn’t spoken to for months. How does that make them feel and what reaction are you likely to get when you do eventually go back to them?
4) Consider how the situation could be avoided
What could you do differently? Look for signs of conflict long before they escalate. Use active listening to make sure you really understand what’s going on. A grievance is much easier to resolve when it isn’t a formal process, so start conversations early and address any growing concern.
5) Understand your own conflict profile
Recognising your preferred way of dealing with conflict is a great way to manage it differently. By completing a conflict profile, you can spot your triggers and behaviours which address or exacerbate, conflict issues. Knowing how to make your initial reaction more measured helps you read the room more effectively, so you can adapt your behaviours accordingly.
Once you’ve taken responsibility for your part in conflict, you should see an improvement in the behaviours of others around you. As a respected colleague, they look up to you and take their lead from your approach. Encourage others to explore their own conflict profiles. Help them reflect on how their behaviours might be escalating the issue.
What if the conflict still exists
Not all conflict will magically disappear just because you’ve become aware of your own reactions. It takes time to learn how to manage that proactively and practice to apply a more considered response. There are also situations that, no matter how hard you try, you won’t be able to resolve. For those, you need additional support to get to the heart of the issue.
Conflict resolution coaching and external mediation are two ways you can resolve an issue quickly. They provide you with a way to look at the challenges and apply the skills you need to address the problem.
Conflict resolution coaching works with you to build skills which help you manage the process more effectively. Mediation is an impartial, confidential, voluntary approach where both parties can share their concerns and seek a mutually agreed resolution.
If you need support addressing conflict in your workplace, call the HR Detective hotline, and let’s help move things forward for you today. 01278 802329 or email debbie@thehrdetective.co.uk
